As soon as I hit "publish" my heart skips a beat.
For something I was so excited about, so sure of, suddenly I am in panic mode.
"What if no one understands?" "What if I was too excited and didn't think realistically?" "What if people just don't care?" "What if I'm not well know enough for this to reach the right people"
Self doubt creeps in and I question my very motives.
This is what happens whenever I release a new Sisterhood initiative: These ideas, they just come to me, they are sparked from life and circumstances and I think of a solution. "The Sisterhood could be involved!" I tell myself. I immediately set about organising myself so you can know about this grand idea.
Excitement builds and now you are in the know!
A few emails trickle in, people get a little bit excited, others I don't hear from and that surprises me.
I start to panic.
I pray, "God, is this going to flop? Was this really you!?" and He tells me to be still, just like he does every other moment of the day.
"I've got this" I hear him say, almost as if He is rolling His great big - God like eyes at me.
So I am still, and I play the waiting game.
This is by far the hardest part of pulling off anything within The Sisterhood. Waiting. For you. To hopefully respond. As I navigate emails, give out my address, suggest ideas to people, try to decipher who I will actually receive anything from. This is the messy part. All those emails. All that time. All those ideas. All those people.
People (including myself) sure are messy. But you know, the mess is worth it, because what we are able to achieve when we pull together and give the little that we have is life-pacting*.
And I think life was made to be together. Not struggling doing it alone but pure community. Sharing, loving, being. That community alone is worth all of the heart stopping messy moments.
Truely really, I love every moment.
Be still my beating heart.
Pssst- FYI - the gifts have already started pouring in. Its amazing.
*Life-pacting. Just a little term I make up. Impacting lives. You can use it too.
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How The Sisterhood responded to a Mum of three and a house fire